Welcome to China
On my first night in Beijing, alone, locked out of my apartment, with no phone, wallet, or ability to speak the language, I lay down on the cold floor next to the elevator.
I'd received a call from my professor two months earlier, "Luke, we want you to go to China to start an English school."
I only had a year left on my American visa.
Even with no T. Daddy in office or ICE on HGH, spending a year in a communist country seemed like the fastest way to slam the door on my American dream.
“I'll go if the university gives me a job when I return, and a three-year work visa."
"Let's see what we can do." My professor replied.
In the foyer of my new apartment complex, sprawled across the floor, my bohemian invasion confirmed everything my eastern neighbors already disliked about the West. Around midnight, a young man stopped and spoke to me in Chinese. I turned my palms up in confusion. He grabbed my hand, pulling me into the elevator.
I followed him into his apartment, which looked like mine, except decorated with red lanterns, dragons, and jade. He poured two shot glasses of clear alcohol, handed one to me, then urged me to sit beside him as he turned on his computer. Opening Google Translate, then another browsing window, then another, he soon had multiple windows open, showing images of famous actresses: Salma Hayek, Sharon Stone, and a half-dozen more.
“Do you know these women?" He typed into the translator.
I laughed. He laughed, clinking his shot glass against mine.
I sipped; it tasted like what I imagine fermented camel piss would. My eyes watered, to which he began laughing louder, topping up my glass.
His name was Chin Tao, I learned from the translator. I explained how I got locked out of my apartment, English to Chinese in seconds.
Clinking my glass again, he typed frantically, "You can sleep here tonight." Then, probably due to a translation error, he added, "We're all the same, just waiting for the morning."
I smiled at that turn of phrase.
"Tomorrow I'll get your apartment open," he continued. "Then I'll show you the best restaurants in the neighborhood and where all the pretty girls go. Welcome to China!"
